breathless

i adore this video from kyle hanagami.
wow.
just wow.

i want to live my life as an artist.

i ♥ picnics

there's just something about putting food in a basket and eating outdoors.

the boy who lives

i'm just counting down the days.

reminiscing...
reading the first harry potter book when i was ten.
waiting for my hogwartz letter every day.
wanting to play hermione in the movies.
every time i was sick, listening to the books on cd as i fell asleep.
shedding that first tear while reading the books.
attending book premieres, midnight showings. sometimes alone.
buying my first wand.
attempting to learn spells.
hating my muggle shortcomings.
getting sorted into ravenclaw.
dressing up as harry potter for halloween, complete with my own traveling theme music.
dressing up as harry for no reason.
making tshirts, pins, bookmarks, doodles.
writing fan mail to jk rowling.
buying my first quill, ink, and parchment.
writing analysis papers for fan sites {true story}.
hiding under my desk in DC, locking the door, staying way past everyone else in the office, finishing the last book and bawling my eyes out.

denial that it's not real.
hope that one day i might meet snape, harry, ron, hermione.
maybe in another life.

it feels like they're out there
in some magical world i don't have access to.
harry potter will live forever
if even at least through me.

first day of summer, baby

i love summer.
i got a feelin in my sandals that it's gonna be a good one.
bring it on.

amazazazing

so, this is "tutting".
it's a street dance style modeled after egyptian hieroglyphics.

"tutting".
like king "tut".

awesome.

this blows my mind.



aaaand here he is in this commercial.
soooo cool.

early to rise

we love mornings.

bruno consistently wakes me up around 7:30 by biting my FACE.
i let him outside while i get us some breakfast.
ticky hears us from upstairs and runs downstairs.
so i get HIM breakfast.

my breakfast is SOmuchbetta than brunie's

the three of us walk out to the front porch.
i try to get them to eat from their correct bowl.
people are jogging with their exercise buddies,
heading to work,
mowing their lawns.

plenty of your typical neighborhood bustle
makes for excellent white noise.

the dogs finish eating
and lay down next to me
and the sun continues to rise on us.

i think about what i'm going to do that day.
bruno thinks about puppy stuff.
ticky just wants to go back inside.

i let the dumb dog back inside while bruno and i chill on the porch for a while
before we head back in for some yoga {me, not bruno}.

the weather is perfect.
the sun is beautiful.
everything is peaceful.

did i mention we love the mornings around here??

dad

happy fatha's day dad.
 thanks for raising me to be a well-balanced individual, to have integrity, and taking me outdoors.

when i was a baybay,
i would cry when it would be bedtime
and the only thing that would soothe me
would be my father taking me outdoors for a little walk.
i'd be out as soon as the fresh air would hit my chubby cheeks.

once when i was about 13 - 14
he took me on a hike.
at the top of the mountain
we just sat in silence for a while,
just taking it all in.
he silently grabbed the fishing poles and we fished for a while.
i was laying on a rock.
the company,
the scenery....
made that the most comfortable rock i'd ever sat on.

my dad introduced me to movies, music, television shows, books.
he's a real trailblazer.
a real hell's angel. {i want that shirt soo bad}

here da card i made for my dad

five things i love today {juneeighteenthtwothousandeleven}

{1} i used to hate waking up with the sun, but now that i basically have an infant in my care, we wake up early every day and go sit out on the front porch for breakfast, followed by listlessly laying on the green grass. i love the mornings these days.

{2} popsicles.popsicles.popsicles! always loved them. always will. i love the way the popsicle prices drop when it's summertime.

{3} doggie bowties! bruno is going to have a whole slew of these. he gon be one sharp lookin pup.

{4} being super busy all da time is making me draw from the fuel of my very core. this requires lots of self-examination.

{5} so hard to come to terms with this but i'm learning. every day. i am who i want to be. i am who i am in this moment. and i am a pretty okay person.

one night in "london"...

my dear sistar just reminded me
that one night
we were at b&n
and saw quills, ink, and parchment.

next thing we know we are sitting in our dining room
by candlelight
in cloaks and hats
writing Hogwartz acceptance letters
and deliberating back and forth in accents
about the qualities of each witch and wizard we were writing to.

and insulting other professors (each other) about the way they run their classes
and what subject they choose to teach
and who Dumbledore liked better. {it was me}

nobody in our family laughed
but I thought it was hilarious.
good show.

if you got one
the secret's out....
it was us.

paris. dreamy, dreamy paris.

i can't believe this. check this out. THIS.
fantastic. wonderful. unbelievable.

this literally sounds so unreal. saying i want to go would be an understatement.
one word to describe the way the essence of paris would feel to me at this time in my life would be
perfection.
it just sounds so breezy, carefree, healing.
my soul is aching in a beautiful way just dreaming about it.

i could just cry!

jordan ferney. you are fabulous.
i know the person who wins this will appreciate it oh-so much. i'm already jealous of them.

meet bruno.

 

he's my new baybay. 

while we're talking about my pets,

i will introduce the rest.

all 6 of them.

{ticky}

{meko}

{mushy}

{grey&white and clark... they're brothers}

{kiki jiji}

we have a lot of pets.
i love animals so much.
i think they're just so sweet and pure.

now that i have bruno {yessss he's mine}
we have 7 pets to our name.
the cats just kind of roam around outside {mom no likey them} so i promise our house is not disgusting.

we've got a miniature farm going on over here.

don' eva fix yo lips like collagen

so this is what i'm currently dealing with:

 

i'm allergic to something and i have no idea what it isssss

but ... admit it.

you're jealous that i get this lip enhancement

fo FREE.

...but sometimes it hurts instead

i had a workshop on monday.
danced to adele.

always awesome.

i love having impromptu workshops.
it's amazing to see who comes,
who really wants to be there on their day off.

i love being in a room full of people that have a common desire
and just standing there and taking all the energy in.
i love it oh-so much.

we danced for change.
we danced for heartbreak.
we danced for purpose.

that's basically what it's all about anyways.
finding purpose.
in everything.

my dear cindi once talked about loss,
about heartbreak...
how she just had to remind herself that what she had was just a glimpse of what is to come.
really, that's all that it is sometimes.

it's never easy,
losing something.
never.

we get cut from auditions,
we lose in relationships,
we don't get into our dream college.

doors close on us all the time.
these things are often just glimpses of what is to come.
bigger and better things.
things MEANT for us.

there's always, ALWAYS a reason
a purpose
for our loss.
even if we don't see it right away.

i asked everyone to just lose themselves,
to think about loss and purpose
and recognize that there is freedom in acceptance.


{i would seriously recommend watching the whole video. it's wonderful observing how everyone takes the story and tells it a little differently}


i had no idea that several days later i would lose something
so
so
so
dear to me.
so suddenly.

i'm struggling to find purpose
due to the circumstances in which
i lost.

now this song,
this combo
is speaking to me in an entirely different way.
and it is so tragic.

the loss itself may have purpose... but what about my psyche? what about the manner in which it was taken away from me? how am i going to explain this to my aching heart? "there's a reason for everything"???

because
for me it isn't over.

i can't seem to take my own medicine, now, can i?

more fun {not}

i got a lot going on at the moment
so
why i decided to do this
i have
NO
idea.

as you can tell by the facial expression,
not sure if it was a good choice.

oh well.
gotta live widit.